There is No "Step" in F-A-T-H-E-R

I've been reaching into my past lately and digging up some old memories, mostly sweet ones. Just last month I spent a few days relishing my dad's funny antics. I enjoy "remembering"; what a pity it would be to forget. However, some of my trips into yesteryear are tinged with grief and a tad bit of bitterness. For instance, my late teen years were really the pits! Dad was gone, my older sisters were gone, my little sister hated me and Mom had the audacity to remarry and move to Texas!

By simply marrying my mother, Bob became Public Enemy #1. I cried more at their wedding than I did at my father's funeral. I was secretly determined to make the man so miserable that he would be forced to run for his life....I didn't know who I was up against. There isn't a whole lot of drama and gun smoke around Bob. He is who is. My refusal to clean my room, even for the real estate agent, didn't seem to ruffle his feathers. When I declared my independence to stay in Virginia versus moving to Texas, he didn't put up a fight. Before I knew it, I was all grown up and my parents were thousands of miles away.

Over the years, this blended family has lost that uncomfortable, awkward feeling. Weddings, babies and funerals have sewn us tightly together. I'm a little fuzzy on when Bob became more than just my mother's husband. Could it have been when he was baking hams, while dressed in a tuxedo, mere hours before our wedding reception? Was it when he drove through the night (on more than one occasion) so that Mom could be here when the baby was born? Was it because he took such tender care of my beloved grandfather? Because he loves my mama? Because he's a fabulous grandfather?

Maybe, it was when my arms got too tired of pushing him away and I finally let him embrace me with his love. My sisters came around a long time ago.....I've always been a slow learner.

Stuck In the Mud

Many moons ago, a friend and I found ourselves, or rather her mother's prized caravan, stuck in the mud. We had missed a turn, and instead of backing out of the next drive way, my dear friend attempted a U-turn in the middle of a cow pasture.....The more gas she gave, the deeper we sunk into the mire and manure. At one point, I got out and gave the back end a good shove. Slinging mud and sarcastic commits didn't help the situation....We were in doo-doo.

She did what any responsible teenager would do, she called her dad. This was back in the day when cellular phones were larger than your head. I can still hear his voice on the line...We were in DEEP doo-doo (literally!)

Over the years, I've felt the same dread. The sense that, yet again, I'm in deep doo-doo. I frantically thrash and fight to free myself, only to make the situation worse. My only salvation comes when I surrender and let God lift me out. Lately, I've been thinking that maybe I'm not nearly as "stuck" as I feel. Maybe, silly girl, I'm right were He put me! Being "stuck" is a good thing when you have roots....and even manure has it's purpose. I'm flourishing!

Goodbye Papa

Wayne's grandfather went to heaven this morning. When a person seems larger than life, it's hard to let them go! He was a wonderful, wonderful man. I loved him and will miss him dearly. He has left us with an enormous legacy....

Water Under the Bridge

Friendship is important to me. Where would I be without my freinds? I have friends that are as much a part of my daily routine as drinking coffee...The day doesn't start without them! I have friends that I rarely see and yet, they hold the keys to my heart. From babyhood through adulthood, I can recall the stages of my life by the company I kept. I am so thankful that there hasn't been too many casualties.

But there has been a few.... Over the last several years I have mourned the loss of a dear friendship. So much hurt and misunderstanding surrounded our parting that I was convinced no repair could be made. When I heard their names mentioned I would inwardly wince. How do you go back? I am a self-professed people pleaser and this only makes matters worse! What can I do to fix this? Send a card? Drop by unannounced? Or just settle for good memories and move on?

It so happens that our family ran into our old friend the other day. Time has gone by and the kids have grown up. We spent a few minutes catching up, chatting and remembering. Wayne and I have both wondered if this day would ever come.....and here it was! We were able to tell this man how precious he and his wife were to us. Their kindnesses had not been forgotten. Miraculously, bitterness was completely absent from the meeting! I've been walking on air since Saturday night....Thank you Lord! Isn't He the best?

A Dad to Remember!

November 24. I make a conscience effort not to memorialize this day. Yet, when I realize that it's here, my heart skips a beat and my throat closes up. We said goodbye to our dad seventeen years ago. It's hard to believe that it's been that long ago. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him.

He had the ability to make an ordinary day.....magical. Candy always tasted better when he bought it just for me at 7-11! All five of us wrestling with him on the floor. He could turn a hilly country road into "tummy ticklers". He perfected stupid car trivia...."Cloris Leachman Fun Facts"....It's scary that I even remember this torture! Skipping Sunday School and having breakfast at Shoney's! Paying me to spy on my older sisters. Waking up in the middle of the night for a "snick snack". Water gun wars. His "world famous" Goobley Gosh. His love/hate relationship with Fred the dog. Threatening to break my first date's legs. Singing "Reba Jackson" at the top of our lungs.......

I'm sure my sisters could add much more to this list. The fact is, I miss him, just as much today as I did in 1992. He wasn't a perfect father, but he was a wonderful dad! He'd often ask us, "Do you know how much I love you?" I did. Our time with him was too short....but it was full! I am grateful.