During college I had a crush on a wrestling coach named Moose. A pitiful, embarrassing school-girl crush. Moose was a student teacher and assistant coach at the same school where I worked. Every time I passed him in the hall I'd smile, blush, fumble, trip...etc. One afternoon a little boy in my after school class hollered, "Hey Coach Moose, Miss Forrester has the hots for you!" Like I hadn't humiliated myself enough already, like he didn't already know. It should have dawned on me how ridiculous I looked. I mean really, I should have bowed out graciously long before I...... I, I got burned.
On that fateful afternoon I was hot gluing the tentacles on an octopus pinata when Coach Moose came into the classroom. Was he going to ask me out? My hands started to shake. I was so nervous that I didn't even feel the hot glue that I shot all over my chest. "Um, do you need a paper towel?" I looked down to see my shirt smoldering, it was not my finest hour. "No", I winced, "I'm fine, it's a low heat glue gun." "OK, just wanted to let you know that the cafeteria will be closed this afternoon. The wrestling team needs to practice in there." Needless to say, after a second degree burn and some tears in my pillow, I avoided Moose like the plague! A crush comes by it's name honestly.
It so happens, the nice guy I stalked every morning in the cafeteria turned out to be my knight and shining armor. Even though I've been safely at my sweetheart's side for a number of years now, it hasn't stopped me from "crushing" after things I shouldn't. A house, a car, a job, a puppy...you get the picture. My hopes shoot through the ceiling, and consciously or sub-consciously I begin to munipulate the situation to my advantage. When will this girl learn? I don't feel like I can sustain another crush..... Nope, I want to leave my crushing days behind me. God's will is always best. He's proven that to me time and time again. He's never needed my interference.
Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from your presence, and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and uphold me by Your generous Spirit. Psalm 51: 10-12