A few years ago I was frantically searching the web for the companionship of other miserable pastor's wives.....Because, I was convinced that I might have been the only one! I can't say that I was overcome with relief to discover that, indeed there is a large and growing number of hurting women just like me. I never did join any of the forums. Reading about other backward churches just wasn't as soothing as I thought it would be. However, one of the sites had a t-shirt for sale that read, I'm the Pastor's Wife and I Have Issues! I have donned that T many times, if only in my mind!
I can appreciate the attitude of the woman who has the nerve to wear that cute little pink get-up! "Don't expect any miracles from me, I am just as human as you are, Sister!" Let's be honest, there have been those moments when every fiber in my body wanted to tap dance on some stubborn mule's head! On the flip side, I've been guilty of being a little mule-ish. I became so used to standing on a soapbox just to get my point across that I didn't realize I had completely killed the grass underneath of me. What's the use of ministry when my attitude is a lethal weapon? Instead of being a light for my Savior, I was extinguishing the flame in those around me.
So, here we are, on the eve of a new church plant and I am absolutely terrified. It is a thrill to be re-united with fellow believers who really are closer than family. It is exciting to imagine the future without the limitations of past traditions/transgressions. I look forward to being apart of a church body who will truly value each individual regardless of........ I love these folks! My anxiety lies within myself, as it always has. Do I have what it takes? Do I cut mustard? Seriously, I do have issues!
"Humble yourselves, therefore under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time, Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." I Peter 5:6-7