Thursday, June 24, 2010


Today is my thirty-third birthday. Two of my darlings are throwing up this morning and all five have a serious case of the runs. Diarrhea is no respecter of birthdays. I've called in to work for this evening. Why plague the Tri-Cities? I feel the need to flee....but I can't, I am the mama.

I have just finished reading Thin Places, by Mary DeMuth, an incredible book! I know that I will carry her words in my heart for a very long time. Not only is she a wonderful writer, she is honest and willing to cut the crap (I apologize, but the word seems so fitting today). Throughout my life I have been guilty of "being guilty", shackled to my failures and shame. I've always compared myself to a better girl, a good student, an organized wife, a disciplined mother, a responsible steward, a talented pastor's wife....etc. Could I stand for improvement? The question is laughable. Yet, I was reminded this week that HE uses me despite myself.....and HE even likes me!

For consider your calling, brethren, that there were not many according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble; but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, and the base things of the world and despised God has chosen, the things that are not, so that He may nullify the things that are, so that no man may boast before God. 1 Corinthians 1:26- 29
Survival has been challenging lately. It seems that the harder we work the deeper we fall. A dear friend suggested the possibility that we are not in God's will. I don't want to accept that we aren't.... but I know the truth. Mary wrote in Thin Places, that Hagar's (Sarah's maidservent) name meant "flight". She says, " How many times have I flown from life's mess, only to weep in the desert? How many times have I wondered whether God sees?" Reading this book brought about many watershed/ tear shed moments. I know that we have fled from a painful situation only to feel abandoned. I long to be centered again.
I am not mighty, I'm far from noble, but I'm just right when it comes to being foolish. He does see me....and He even likes me!


  1. Happy Birthday, Sweet R! Perhaps next year's big day will be free from digestive upset. And you'll be that much closer to knowing His will...

  2. I like you too, just as He made you. May the coming days bring you peace and flu-free days. Adding this book to my reading list, my best reads always come from you.

  3. Reagan, You and I may be miles apart but you encourage me so much in your blog and on FB. Every time I feel like it is just me, the one and only struggling mom, I see something on your posts that reminds me, I am not alone, I am not a failure, and "He even likes me". Thank you for being open, sincere and encouraging. Thank you for being you and being honest.

    When we were in NC, I had no doubt we were in God's will, but we struggled in everything. Our (brand new) marriage, our finances, my job, his job, his studies, yard work, churches, fear of trees falling on us in the middle of the night from an ice storm, it was SO hard for us. Yet when I look back at it all, we have so many life lessons that we learned. All in the MIDDLE of God's will.

    I pray the ailments have cleared and the chaos has lowered by a notch or two. ;)