I have just finished reading Thin Places, by Mary DeMuth, an incredible book! I know that I will carry her words in my heart for a very long time. Not only is she a wonderful writer, she is honest and willing to cut the crap (I apologize, but the word seems so fitting today). Throughout my life I have been guilty of "being guilty", shackled to my failures and shame. I've always compared myself to a better girl, a good student, an organized wife, a disciplined mother, a responsible steward, a talented pastor's wife....etc. Could I stand for improvement? The question is laughable. Yet, I was reminded this week that HE uses me despite myself.....and HE even likes me!
For consider your calling, brethren, that there were not many according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble; but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, and the base things of the world and despised God has chosen, the things that are not, so that He may nullify the things that are, so that no man may boast before God. 1 Corinthians 1:26- 29
Survival has been challenging lately. It seems that the harder we work the deeper we fall. A dear friend suggested the possibility that we are not in God's will. I don't want to accept that we aren't.... but I know the truth. Mary wrote in Thin Places, that Hagar's (Sarah's maidservent) name meant "flight". She says, " How many times have I flown from life's mess, only to weep in the desert? How many times have I wondered whether God sees?" Reading this book brought about many watershed/ tear shed moments. I know that we have fled from a painful situation only to feel abandoned. I long to be centered again.
I am not mighty, I'm far from noble, but I'm just right when it comes to being foolish. He does see me....and He even likes me!