The Banishment

I have banished the older three children to the upstairs for next twenty-four hours. No TV, no DSi, no Wii, no freinds..... Nothing but each other. I've reached my limit with sassy talking and general ugliness. You could cut the air in this house with a knife. Mama ain't happy and she ain't playing no games either!

At this very moment, I am restraining myself from clobbering the child who is kicking the wall. The release time has been set for tomorrow evening after supper, we shall see.

Watershed

Today is my thirty-third birthday. Two of my darlings are throwing up this morning and all five have a serious case of the runs. Diarrhea is no respecter of birthdays. I've called in to work for this evening. Why plague the Tri-Cities? I feel the need to flee....but I can't, I am the mama.

I have just finished reading Thin Places, by Mary DeMuth, an incredible book! I know that I will carry her words in my heart for a very long time. Not only is she a wonderful writer, she is honest and willing to cut the crap (I apologize, but the word seems so fitting today). Throughout my life I have been guilty of "being guilty", shackled to my failures and shame. I've always compared myself to a better girl, a good student, an organized wife, a disciplined mother, a responsible steward, a talented pastor's wife....etc. Could I stand for improvement? The question is laughable. Yet, I was reminded this week that HE uses me despite myself.....and HE even likes me!

For consider your calling, brethren, that there were not many according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble; but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, and the base things of the world and despised God has chosen, the things that are not, so that He may nullify the things that are, so that no man may boast before God. 1 Corinthians 1:26- 29

Survival has been challenging lately. It seems that the harder we work the deeper we fall. A dear friend suggested the possibility that we are not in God's will. I don't want to accept that we aren't.... but I know the truth. Mary wrote in Thin Places, that Hagar's (Sarah's maidservent) name meant "flight". She says, " How many times have I flown from life's mess, only to weep in the desert? How many times have I wondered whether God sees?" Reading this book brought about many watershed/ tear shed moments. I know that we have fled from a painful situation only to feel abandoned. I long to be centered again.

I am not mighty, I'm far from noble, but I'm just right when it comes to being foolish. He does see me....and He even likes me!

What a Gem!

Ruby Carmichael Lowe has learned to climb up on the couch, the vacuum cleaner, the bar stools and into the bath tub! My wee little girl is growing by leaps and bounds! Just a little over two years ago she was a tiny secret. Unplanned and certainly unexpected, this precious baby has changed her mama's life....for good!

For the nine months preceding her birth I was at war, against myself. "Some" people thought I had my hands full with three children, they shook their heads when we had four and at the announcement of #5, the gloves were off. I should have ignored the comments, I shouldn't have imagined the gossip spreading down the pews, I should have prayed for the ones who looked at my growing belly with scorn....but I didn't. I fell, and I fell so hard.

God is good, so, so good! He saw my weakness and He sent reinforcements! I married the most wonderful man twelve years ago! Way back then, Wayne stood out in the crowd. He was different then the other college guys. He was a little bit older, his accent was a little bit stronger and he was the most genuine person I had ever met! Let me tell you, he has not disappointed me! Wayne is my best friend and my hero. He didn't throw up his hands in despair when I crumbled. He prayed for me, silently, out loud and faithfully.

So, as I watch Ruby's toddler antics, I am overcome! She is the answer to fervent prayer! Her name suits her well, she is our precious little gem! I have been richly rewarded despite my numerous failures. When I see my little girl crinkle up her nose and smile at me, I'm reminded how good my Saviour is!



"I Know the plans I have for you," announces the Lord. "I want you to enjoy success. I do not plan to harm you. I will give you hope for years to come." Jeremiah 29:11

Night Owls

It's a quarter to one in the morning and Phoebe and I are still rattling around this old house! I have discovered that it's pointless to close my eyes until she has finally surrendered to the Sand Man. Her skin is in terrible condition. It's painful just to look at her little feet and hands. So, while she is watching 24/7 Nick Jr., I am scouring the Internet looking for the missing link to cure her "boo-boos".

My late night searches have only brought me to the conclusion that....I need to go to bed earlier! Google is a dangerous thing! I really should back away from the keyboard and leave diagnosing my daughter to the experts. I could spend these additional hours doing something productive, like cleaning. Oh, but that's way out of my comfort zone!

The fact that Phoebe doesn't know anything different, her skin has been this way since the day she was born, should bring me some comfort. Her name literally means "radiant"...She is the brightest, sweetest and most lovable child you could ever meet. Her eyes twinkle with mischief and mayhem, and boy does she deliver! But as her mama, I long for relief from this chronic eczema battle. I've done everything the doctor told me to do and still her feet look like meatloaf! If another well meaning person tells me to try an oatmeal bath or moisturizer, I might have to bite them! I am disheartened that there doesn't seem to be a solution. However, Phoebe doesn't seem to be as frustrated, this is just the way it is.

"Come on Mom, watch T.D. with me!" She is my radiant fire fly...We light up the night together!

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. Philippians 4:6