I was called into the counselor's office after my boy's session last week. He assured me that I had a great kid. But then he said, "His level of anxiety is on a whole other plain than you or me." I nodded my head, this is why we came. Apparently, my boy's greatest fears revolve around his dad. He fears that Daddy will have another stroke, that Daddy will lose his job, that Daddy won't make enough money to pay the bills. My poor precious boy. I am filled with shame that I haven't, that I didn't shield him. I could have saved him from this pain.
"Loose lips sink ships." I haven't been quiet about my own anxieties. I have aired my fears and frustrations just as I would the laundry on the line. I made it public information. I thought that I was the one enduring the hardship of a miserable church, our financial tsunami and Wayne's health scare...But I wasn't the only one. Five pairs of eyes watch everything I do, they hear everything I say, they feel the full weight of my burdens. All of the energy I used to claw my way out of the pit, only to be burying my child in it! I am guilty.
All of that said, these last few weeks have been good. I can see spring budding in our home. We've been winterized for too long....just waiting for things to get better. Spring has come. Might not be the last of the frost though..... Lord, I need You!
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. Philippians 4:6